I was staring straight at her eyes as we moved closer to passing each other in the hall. I always look right at their eyes. I thought about something clever that I should say to her. Nothing came to me as I passed the windows on the third floor of Mitchell Hall. I could feel a chill from the one screenless window that was open. My eyes did not waver, though, still fixed right at hers as she walked by without a glance.

 

 

“Blue,” was all I found myself saying, but she was already too far past to hear it. Hell, I couldn’t have been sure that they were blue since she never looked up at me. Maybe girls are so used to guys gawking at their breasts that they don’t bother to look anymore.  I didn’t even turn around to undress her in my mind. I was disgusted! She had not given me the satisfaction of a mere glance. No footsteps were audible save for my own as I walked past some art work and crossed from Mitchell into Curtin Hall.

 

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Undeclared: Two Stories of College Self-Searching